~::~ Eventide Rendezvous ~::~
Setting sun, twilight purple sky
Popping stars twinkling diamond studs
Heathery bed, velvet rose buds
Intimacy sets, fervent high
Tangled fingers, stupor lingers
Pervasive frantic kisses ply
Throes of sanity, passion floods
Setting sun, twilight purple sky
Setting sun, twilight purple sky
Euphoria rising in blood
We lay entwined upon cold mud
Up roaring furor souls defy
Drizzling rain alleviates pain
As it pours; this eve of July
Utterly spent, exhaustion floods
Setting sun, twilight purple sky
~::~::~::~
Form – Octain High /Double Octain
Rhyme Scheme – Abb/a(c-c)a/ba – abb/a(d-d)a/ba
Meter – 8 syllable each
Tagged – One Stop Form on One Stop Poetry thanks to Luke for the new form 🙂
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Superb!!!! Ur romantic poetry takes me to a different world altogether with my special someone……from where I don’t want to return…:D Keep them coming….I am your biggest fan in this genre!! 🙂
oi hoie rooomiie thank u thank u 😀
A very romantic and passionate poem.
Thank you so much Martin 😀
As Charlie says above, very romantic. Great title too. I like your twist on the cliche ‘throes of passion’ –
Throes of sanity, passion floods
However to get the form, you need to use the original A-refrain as the first and last lines of both (ie it appears four times – but varying it is acceptable and may feel appropriate if repetition is overbearing, particularly where there are two consecutively, end of one-beginning of other). So the rhyme-scheme needs to be as you have it, but lines 1, 8, 9 &16 are all the same refrain (varied if you like – change max four syllables of the eight; the end- word needs to be the same for sure). Refrain is indicated by a capital A (so it rhymes with the other a-lines). The way you’ve formatted it fits into the new alternative High Octain format I’ve just made official; (as two stanzas), the usual way is like this (and I’ll put the refrains in as a demo, you can alter them as you like then) –
Setting sun, twilight purple sky
Popping stars twinkling diamond studs
Heathery bed, velvet rose buds
Intimacy sets, fervent high
Tangled fingers, stupor lingers
Pervasive frantic kisses ply
Throes of sanity, passion floods
Setting sun, twilight purple sky
Setting sun, twilight purple sky
Euphoria rising in blood
We lay entwined upon cold mud
Up roaring furor souls defy
Drizzling rain alleviates pain
As it pours; this eve of July
Utterly spent, exhaustion floods
Setting sun, twilight purple sky
>you could perhaps incorporate some of what you have in these lines as it stands and still end the line on ‘purple sky’ or something. The way you have it (two stanzas) is also perfectly acceptable as High Octain format but the refrains need addressing to make this true to the form. Easily remedied, Megz, nice piece! Cheers. Glad you’re back writing again my friend
Luke x
Thank you so much Luke for such an in depth review 🙂
I have made the required changes
and yes mighty glad at being back too 😀
i do not understand form meter rhyme scheme and all of that…but i do understand a good poem 🙂
this is definitely one of your better ones…i was there, is how i felt 🙂
cheers!
heyyy Cyril 😀
nice to see u here buddy 🙂
thanks a tonnnnn for the lovely comment 😀
Oh, this was simply beautiful, Megzone.
“Pervasive frantic kisses ply
Throes of sanity, passion floods”
LOVE those lines!
http://wp.me/pPury-g5
thank you dear 🙂
m glad you liked it 🙂
I love the way you so vividly capture passion! Very romantic
thank you dear 🙂 m glad you liked it…
Very enjoyable. Looking forward to more of your writing.
thank you so much,,, m glad you found it enjoyable 😀
do keep visiting 😀
vivid words..
apt composition..
🙂
aawww…thanks Ji 🙂
m glad you liked it 😀
Just say, Waooooooooooo……..
Thanks 4 such a nyc poem.
🙂
Thank you Sachin 🙂
Sensuous!!
huh 😯
jus a one word comment 😯
so unlike u 🙄
thanks btw
hmmm again difficult for the likes of me to understand such powerful words .. wish i had sat in my english lectures and listening to the teacher ..
areeeeee inna mat socho bro 😀 life sahi hai tension nahi hai 😀